Church and Australia's same-sex marriage

So it looks like Australia will shortly be allowing same-sex couples to marry. Julia Baird writes a great article about this, which is more about the church than it is about marriage.

She finishes with this advice for those now confused "about the place of Christianity in the public square":

"It might be time to get back to that old thing, what is it again, that book... the Bible, in which there are more than 2000 references to poverty and a scant handful to sexuality. It might be time to closely examine the true preoccupations of Jesus (who reserved his harshest words for Pharisees and publicly pious Church leaders) – greed, selfishness, lack of love. It all boils down to love, he said. Funny that.

Earlier she contrasts the statements of major church denominations with the beliefs of people in the pews - including leading politicians from different parties. She also notes that even Martin Luther King saw this kind of thing coming as far back as in 1963. Some of his words were very prescient:

"Is organised religion too inextricably bound to the status quo to save our nation and the world? If today's church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the 21st century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust."

10 church things that alienate introverts

Introverts account for up to 50% of people. So why do we do things that make up to half our guests feel like running away?

I've covered a couple of these before (holding hands and over-intense attention) but have now found this list of 10 things we would be better off avoiding if we really want to show we care.

it's good reading - and very useful.

What do non-church Christians do?

Recently, I've been writing a fair bit about Christians who no longer attend church. Today I found that some survey stats on this topic.

They compared Christians who had not been to church in 6 months, called "Love Jesus but not the church", to "Practising Christians" which refers to people who go to church.

It turns out the church-leavers still hold the same beliefs as church-goers. If anything slightly moreso.

So these are not people who have lost faith. They just don't see value in church.

When it comes to spiritual practices, there are some differences.

The "Love Jesus but not church" group do less bible reading, journaling, reading spiritual books and (perhaps obviously) less meeting in groups. But they do more reflection in nature and more meditation. Prayer is about the same.

It's fair to say that these people are still Christians. I also think it's unfair to imply that they aren't "practising" because they don't enter a certain building. Some continue to denigrate them, wag the finger and say they should go to church.

Sure they would probably benefit from meeting with other Christians. But sadly almost the only thing that is available is the standard sing/pray/lecture process that many find so futile.

I think there needs to be more alternatives. Alternatives that value following Jesus as much as following a worship style.

What leavers say

The book "Life After Church" is written for and about people in the process of leaving church. Here are some of the quotes from "leavers":

"Church used to be exciting to go to. It's not like they did anything different back then but I guess it was new and we were younger and hadn't heard these sermons. But as the years have gone by it seems a bit like Groundhog Day. The church has failed us because it really only serves new believers. I'm not sure if that's what they're setting out to do, but everything seems so basic." - Dave

"Sometimes I feel like I would get as much out of staying at home as going, or better yet fishing or reading a good book. I might experience truth at the very least-more than the morning at church. It just feels like one more thing on my week of things to do and there is a lack of joy associated with it, an obligation moreso." - Crystal

"The thing that strikes me most is the manner in which church has become a routine. Everyone falls into line, follows the events in the service: when to greet and say hello, when to pray, sing, shout etc. I felt like one robot in the midst of others - emotionless, passionless, without zeal." - Joann

"The focus was always on what we needed to stop doing and never what we ought to be doing. There wasn't much mention of Christ's redemptive power. This combination caused me to fell hopeless because it put the onus of perfection on me and I knew that wasn't working. The only reason I ever went back was guilt." - Dan

"We're told not to go where the non-Christians are because it's potentially dangerous and we should be in church as much as we can. Wednesday night service, Sunday morning service, Saturday (7am!) men's group, a small group etc. Where are the relationships with those not in the church? It's almost as if we put the evangelism on God. No seeking at all. Just waiting." - Dave

What can we learn from what these people say? Clearly they're not done with faith. If anything they long for more than church can currently deliver.

4 stages of leaving church

People leave church. Some are shopping for a better church. Some no longer believe. Others are leaving the church not God.

These leavers (the subject and audience of this book) are leaving because of their pursuit of God. They "want to do what is right and to live in a way that honours Jesus" but find that "for them to stay (in church) and to remain faithful to Jesus are mutually exclusive".

So how does this happen? Author Brian Sanders says there are 4 stages:

Contentment

You're growing and learning and everything seems fine. At least if it's not fine we are able to focus on the positives.

Disaffection

Physically present. Emotionally absent. Thinking about leaving. You and the church are in different places. This might have been from a crisis or just from maturing as a Christian.

Threshold

Physically absent. Emotionally present. Now you've stopped attending church events. You still feel connected. You may still hope for change.

Full Exit

Physically and emotionally absent. You've now disconnected from church. Occasionally you may try to reconnect but generally the stage of contentment will disappear even quicker than before.

The author wonders if this leaving, rather than being a problem, is exactly what is needed. Perhaps it is too late to change church. Perhaps we need to leave it and build something new. Something closer to what Jesus taught.

Living Questionable Lives

Can I go now?

When I learned the topic would be evangelism, my enthusiasm for the mission seminar dropped sharply. I was already there so it was too late to leave. But I was in for a surprise.

Living questionable lives

Based on the bible passages 1 Corinthians 3:6-7 and 1 Peter 3:15-16 the premise of the talk was that few people are the evangelism type. The rest of us can live "questionable lives". What does that mean? Sometimes 'questionable' can means dubious, but in this context it just means something that might cause someone to ask a question.

In 1 Peter 3:15, St Paul gives advice for when we're asked about our faith. But that hardly ever happens. Our lifestyles are generally so predictable and non-intriguing that no questions are asked.

High predictability, low impact

There's nothing evil about a "fine upstanding middle-class lifestyle in the suburbs ... but if we’re trying to live questionable lives, then cutting the lawn, saying hi to the neighbours, washing our car, walking the dog and driving to the office every day is hardly an intriguing lifestyle".

Five Habits

The talk was based around the book Five Habits of Highly Missional People by Michael Frost. Both as individuals and as groups our habits are what make us the type of people we are. The habits outlined in the book, and the talk I was at, help us to be people (or churches) who are missional. They help us become more Christlike, more generous, and more connected to people outside of church.

I recommend reading book. Here are the five habits/challenges:

1. Bless 3 people this week. It can be an affirmation, by serving or with a gift.
2. Eat with 3 people this week. We have to eat anyway, why not eat with someone?
3. Listen. Designate some time with no distraction to let God in and follow his prompting
4. Learn. Designate time to learning about Jesus. Read the Gospels or other books.
5. Sent. Journal the ways you're demonstrating the values of God.

There's more detail in the book, but that's the basics.

Overall, this is quite different from a lot of what church does. But church can possibly help. If you're in a church and can find others in who are interested in this, it may be helpful to make a small group to help you form these habits as part of your life.

Are the TV people right?

The Census data is out now!

Headline stats

The fraction of Australians who identify as Christian has gone from 61.1% to 52.1%.
"No religion" at 30.1% is now higher than any one denomination.
Catholics is highest with 22.6%.

My stats

I compared denominations. e.g. Catholics went from 25.3 to 22.6%, shrinking by a tenth.

Here is each denomination's shrinkage over 5 years.
Catholics: 10.7% smaller
Anglicans: 22.2% smaller
Uniting Church: 26% smaller
Presbyterian & Reformed: 17.9% smaller
Eastern Orthodox: 19.2% smaller
Other Christian: 2.4% smaller

TV people guessing

The TV talk that suggested that the child abuse crimes played a big part in the decrease seems to off-base given that the Catholic church (the most publicised during the child abuse investigations) showed the smallest decrease. The 'Other Christian' is a mixed bag of various small denomination and people who write just "Christian".

The ABC does a great interactive visualisation of the census - This is Australia as 100 People. Here's a screenshot of the religion bit.

Time ticking for Uniting Church

The Uniting Church is now just 4 dots. Even that is generous. It is 3.7% of Australia, down from 5.1% last time. This is not new news.

It is the church's biggest drop so far, and since 1991 it loses about one dot per census.

With just 4 dots left, its future is interesting.
Perhaps my projection of a 2041 end was too generous.

Different question, different answer?

Very soon the results will be released from the 2016 Census. One of the usual talking points is the shrinking of the number of Australians who identify with Christianity.

But this time the question has changed. Or more precisely, the answers choice has changed.

As "No religion" has become more popular over the years, the Census decided to move it to the top of the list of options.

How much will this affect the results? What will people tick? In particular the people who were raised in a Christian denomination but have little to do with it these days.

In the past they may have ticked 'Anglican' for example and moved on to the next question, without reading down the list to find "No religion". Now it's at the top of the list, how many will now tick that option instead?

I guess what I'm asking is how much of the change this time will be due to people who have not changed their views but just ticked a more convenient box. And how much will be due to people who have actually left religion?

It will be interesting to see the results.

The year the last church closes

Even as our country grows in population the church manages to shrink. That's not new news. But how quickly is this happening?

I've graphed the percent of Australians who put my denomination as their religion in the census.

It's a pretty clear trend.

The way things are headed (the dotted line) the year my denomination ceases will be 2040. Maybe 2041.

Why did I do this?
Partially just plain curiosity. But mostly I felt that in general church is quite complacent about this. I think we've sensed that decline has been happening for some time and that it's nothing to worry about.

But these numbers tell a different story. Things are looking very bleak very soon. It really is about time we start thinking of different ways to be church, because whatever we're doing no is clearly not connecting with people.

For too long we blame the people for disengaging, rather than ourselves for being so disengaging.

Church score - 2 out of 10

There's new research data about faith in Australia. It's surprisingly interesting reading.

They asked how often people attend church. Remember they're asking Christians.

2 out of 10 Christians attend weekly
Even Christians don't go to church each week. Church seems to operate as if we all do, but it's very much exception to the rule. Perhaps we shouldn't feel (or be made to feel) guilty about that.

Half don't attend in a whole year
This is probably the bigger wake-up call. Half of Christians don't want anything to do with church. Not even for Christmas or Easter.

This has to be the ultimate example of "they love Jesus but hate the church". How have Christianity and church come to be so distinct from each other?

Why Facebook (and church) makes you sad

There's a lot of talk about the effect of Facebook (and other social media) on our self-esteem. We see finely-tuned photos and edited highlights of people's lives and feel that we don't measure up.

Of course we feel that way. These perfect lives are an illusion. The bad bits, and even the average ones, are cut out. Even the people themselves don't compare to the image that's created.

An article by Russell Moore looks at the constantly upbeat worship songs of church. You know the ones - about how much we love God and are totally committed to following him. But most of all it's the ones about how consistently great life is when you follow God - as if nothing bad ever happens to you.

Hmmm, I'm sure we can all think of many examples when that's not the case.

There's probably also something to be said for a bit more frankness in those after-church chats. "How are you? Fine. How's your week been? Fine. How's work? Fine."

Perhaps we could try some openness. "How am I? Struggling. How was my week? Quite stressful and it's getting to me. How's work? Unfulfilling. I wonder why I let it suck up so much of my life."

Ok, it's probably not likely. But perhaps we could try it once in a while. It might help someone else's self-esteem.

Being good on Good Friday

Further to my post on Tuesday, I have found out about two events in the suburbs near me.

One church starts at 8 am, but not with a service. At 8 am there is barista-served coffee, hot cross buns and kids activities. Then at the more respectable time of 9am there is a church service.

Another put a postcard in our letterbox, also offering barista coffee, live music and supper along with their service - which sounds like it's also outdoors (like the one I talked about on Tuesday).

Perhaps it's just my denomination that is still to catch up. Or perhaps the Baptists (which both these churches are) are leading the way.

Good Friday "options"

Here's a slide from a 'thinking outside the box' presentation I did last year. It's my worship options for Good Friday - the distance from my house and the time of worship. The picture represents where I am at that time on a public holiday.

It's almost as if for a special day we go to extra lengths to avoid any new people coming to church. We pick a really inconvenient time (from the public's perspective) and we seem to synchronise all our churches so that if you miss one you've missed them all.

As half our neighbourhood is still in their pyjamas, we've already packed up for the next two days.

So what did I do last year? I found a non-denominational group that meets in a park. From memory it was a 10am start but as it's outside, people are free to drift in (or out) at any time. There were some relevant songs played by a guitarist and a singer. Some Bible passages were read and some prayers prayed. Afterwards people could gather socially if they wanted.

Regardless of whether or not it was better than a traditional Good Friday service, it was at least 10 times more accessible to the general public.

Perhaps there are lessons to be learnt. Some that spring to mind are to be accessible, to be at a reasonable time and generally consider the needs of people. I note the number of strollers and kids - something that rarely happens in 'regular' church.

PS. See my Thursday update on this topic.

Come and watch church? No thanks.

Church can appear to be set up for a show. We have stage lighting, a sound system, music and plenty of seats for people to relax and enjoy the entertainment. Particularly at Easter or Christmas time we feel like 'putting on a show' about our faith.

Karl Vaters has a different take. He reckons that in an age of Netflix and YouTube, that "church members wearing fake beards and bathrobes singing Christmas carols or reciting the Easter story doesn’t capture anyone’s attention".

But it's not just that. It's way more effort than it's worth, and it makes us look like passive consumers of religion. People coming to church for the first time aren't after a stage show, he says.

They’re more likely coming because they want something more authentic, applicable and challenging in their life.

So what's his idea?

His alternatives include "come and help" - where people can join your church doing projects to help people in the local community. "Come and give" is about inviting people to give to a cause that is not the church itself. Both of these demonstrate a church that cares for other people.

"Come and have fun" is about being part of a community of people and "come and learn" events offer practical help to the community.

When a person comes to a church, they should see our faith at its deepest and best. Not a sanitized-for-your-convenience version that doesn’t have enough depth and meaning to make a difference.

If this sounds good to you, check out Karl's article in full.

Be more like Jesus? Not at church!

I'm currently reading "The Year of Living like Jesus". For 12 months author Ed Dobson goes on a journey of discovering what Jesus would really do.

Like Jesus, he lives a Jewish lifestyle - eating only kosher food and praying from the Hebrew scriptures. As Jesus did, he eats (and drinks!) with people who were far from being religious - and often had very meaningful conversations with them. He also follows the teachings of Jesus and repeatedly reads the Gospels throughout the year.

He tells the story of a friend of his - a youth pastor at a local church who joined him in his quest. "But he only lasted a few weeks. He told me:

"I can't keep this up. I work at a church full-time - so I can't live like Jesus."

Doesn't that say so much about church life?

We talk about "discipleship" - continually becoming more Christlike in our lifestyle and actions. But if someone (who's paid to help us do that) actually tried doing it in a meaningful way, they would either find it incompatible with church life or be removed from their position. The author continues,

"In the evangelical church we focus on attending services, teaching Sunday school, becoming an elder or deacon, singing in the choir, getting involved in a small group and exercising our spiritual gifts for the benefit of the body. Almost everything we do is focussed on ourselves."

He's not against these activities but refers to Jesus saying that "healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do".

"Throughout this year, as I've tried to eat and drink with those who were outside the church, something interesting has happened. I'm beginning to feel more comfortable with those who don't know the Lord than I am with those who do know the Lord. Those who don't know the Lord are much less judgemental. They are open to new ideas."

Free at last!

Not sure how to take this sign.

My first reactions were a bit tongue-in-cheek.
1. Free prayer! That's fantastic. The prayer I'm currently buying is quite expensive and cutting a hole in my budget.
2. Darn it. It's Tuesday 6pm. Now I have to wait a whole week until God's next set of opening hours.

As I walked on, I genuinely wondered what they meant by free. Do they mean free as opposed to controlled by the church prayer leader, who plays the role of a pseudo-spokesperson to God on our behalf?

Or do they mean free as opposed to recited prayer of Sunday School, or the read-in-unison prayer of church? That today you might be able to pray from your own heart.

Or do they just mean plain free (no money required)? Have public acts of kindness become so rare that we have to emphasise that this is NOT pay-per-prayer? That this is not a fundraiser and that we are not asking for donations?

However they mean it, I don't think it's a great reflection on how we generally do prayer. Perhaps more prayer could be free prayer.

What do you think?

Is this the worst piece of evangelism?

Ok, there's probably been worse, but let me know what you think - or if you've had worse.

The background

My wife and I are downsizing. There's lots of stuff we no longer need (or never did). We care about the planet and about people. So we don't throw much in the bin. We try to sell or give away things to people who can use them. Online we've posted at least 200 items so far. One of these was a set of prayer flags my wife received from a work colleague. Apparently they are quite popular in Nepal.

Tim's inquiry:

Sat, 1:33 pm
Who do these prayers go to?

I wasn't sure where this was going, so took the bulk of my answer from wikipedia.

Our response

Sat, 6:11 pm
Hi Tim. Thanks for your question. The short answer to your question is "everyone". Traditionally, prayer flags are used to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. The flags do not carry prayers to gods, which is a common misconception; rather, the Tibetans believe the prayers and mantras will be blown by the wind to spread the good will and compassion into all pervading space. Therefore, prayer flags are thought to bring benefit to all. I hope that helps.

I thought that was fairly clear and non-offensive. The next came this:

The reply

Sun, 4:49 pm
Hi Chris. Interesting philosophy and pagan superstition. I'm thankful that there is a true God who has and does answer prayers ( Psalm 65:2.). Apart from the many attributes God has, there are things he gives, love, joy and peace. ( Galatians 5:22). These are just a few. Real hope and comfort ( Romans 15:4) come from his true wisdom ( Psalm 111:10. James 3:17). But as you are aware there are many gods ( 1 Corinthians 8:5) . One thing that eludes many people is the true God's name. (Psalm 83:18). Jehovah. If you have a bible, please look at the scriptures mentioned. Usually older bibles do have the name of God. Sadly most modern bibles have omitted his name.
Thank you.
Regards.
Tim

Good grief

Clearly Tim is a Jehovah's Witness and (I'm guessing) never had any genuine interest in the flags. Instead he was just seeking (or forcing) an opportunity to trumpet his beliefs.

Three things puzzle me about this.
1. He seems to assume I am not Christian - and yet he quotes the bible as his proof of how wonderful god is. If I wasn't Christian why would I give two hoots what the bible says?
2. I'm still puzzled that people use references like "1 Corinthians 8:5" expecting that a non-Christian knows what to do with little piece of code. Of course it's Google-able, but he's talking hard-copy bible.
3. Obviously there's a huge vibe of 'your beliefs are stupid', 'I follow the true god' and 'you should too'. Does that ever work?

Interested to hear you thoughts.