4 stages of leaving church

People leave church. Some are shopping for a better church. Some no longer believe. Others are leaving the church not God.

These leavers (the subject and audience of this book) are leaving because of their pursuit of God. They "want to do what is right and to live in a way that honours Jesus" but find that "for them to stay (in church) and to remain faithful to Jesus are mutually exclusive".

So how does this happen? Author Brian Sanders says there are 4 stages:

Contentment

You're growing and learning and everything seems fine. At least if it's not fine we are able to focus on the positives.

Disaffection

Physically present. Emotionally absent. Thinking about leaving. You and the church are in different places. This might have been from a crisis or just from maturing as a Christian.

Threshold

Physically absent. Emotionally present. Now you've stopped attending church events. You still feel connected. You may still hope for change.

Full Exit

Physically and emotionally absent. You've now disconnected from church. Occasionally you may try to reconnect but generally the stage of contentment will disappear even quicker than before.

The author wonders if this leaving, rather than being a problem, is exactly what is needed. Perhaps it is too late to change church. Perhaps we need to leave it and build something new. Something closer to what Jesus taught.